Safely Home

I borrowed this blog title from a book I just finished reading called “Safely Home” by Randy Alcorn. It is a story of Christian martyrs in China. It has been an interesting parallel to my current life position.  Parallel meaning going in a similar direction...I hope we all are. While my title is a missionary and I definitely know God has placed me in Peru for his purpose, to share who he is with those around me, I am acutely aware that my situation is different than many other missionaries, or Christians for that matter, across the globe. This doesn’t in any way diminish what I do, and others like me, it just keeps things in perspective and grounds me. This story reminds me of the call on every Christians’ life.  The call to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Jesus.

From childhood I have always been curious, interested, and gripped by the stories of missionaries and believers all over the world who have sacrificed for the sake of the Gospel. It began with our Vietnamese friends who came on a boat to the US, whose homemade egg rolls I enjoyed frequently. Childhood friends who were missionaries to Honduras inspired me. Countless church workers and full-time ministers our family supported, served under, and along side have been constant reminders of God’s call to serve. Stories I’ve read or heard from the pulpit or stage have all gripped me in a way to change my course and my worldview. This book “Safely Home” has been an inspiration to me over the past few months. I encourage you to find it and read it…it’s available on Amazon for Kindle.

As I journeyed home to spend Christmas with my family and friends the words safe, home, and Christmas had new meaning. I am grateful for what God has done and the blessings he has brought to me in the past year. I hope I can rise to the challenge and serve Him well.

I leave you with several thoughts and quotes from the book that I can’t seem to get out of my mind, and  hope I never do.

 “He could no have it both ways, not here. No God, no good. Forever. He had wanted a world where no one else was in charge, where no order was forced upon him. He had finally gotten it.”

“Never postpone obedience to Jesus.”

“Never forget Jesus is King. Never forget your home is in another world.”

Do I know Gods word well enough that if imprisoned because of my faith I could still be encouraged by His words to me?

Is my faith and my relationship with God enough that if everything I knew was taken and knew nothing of earthly comfort I could still sing praise to my Savior? Reflections for a new year.

Blessings and Happy New Year!!

Normal...for now anyway

I am almost late for my promised once a month post. Things have been a bit busy since October 1st. To save time and preserve my desire to share details in person I will make a list.

Since I last wrote here are some things I've been involved in:

2 Community Service projects
Chile Getaway
Recital
Somalia/World Vision Fundraiser
Thanksgiving Getaway

In addition to the above add the usual day to day activities that happen once life starts to feel normal. Normal, this is the word I feel like explains where I am right now with life in Peru. I feel pretty comfortable in my surroundings and not nearly as awkward or overwhelmed. Spring has sprung which makes my walks to and from school, and just about anywhere else, super enjoyable. The birds are chirping, butterflies a fluttering, and the songs have been coming back into my heart. I know I am truly happy when there is always a song in my head. For a while there was only silence and no music. I am thinking in songs again...and this is a good thing. I have a couple of tunes and songs that are always on the play list and they have come back into rotation.

I am in full swing for Christmas Concerts and Musicals in the last 2 weeks of school and then I am back in Los Estados Unidos por Navidad. I can't believe the 1st half of the school year is almost over. I feel like I blinked in July and ended up in December.

The song that has been in my head the past couple of days is "Where Are You Christmas?" from the movie "How The Grinch Stole Christmas". This is pretty remarkable since I have never seen this movie and haven't ever really sat down and listened to this song. It is amazing how my musical brain works that way. When I think of the song I actually hear Faith Hill singing it in my head, I can even visualize it. Weird...I know.

So, today I sat down and actually listened to the song because I thought it might help me  move on to another song. Once I listened I realized why it was in my head. I watched the youtube video with the words scrolling so I could figure it out. The phrase "...my world is changing, and rearranging, does that mean Christmas changes too?" kept sticking out to me. This is why I had the song stuck in my head. My world has been changing and rearranging for almost a year now. I spent my first Holiday away from family at Thanksgiving. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be thanks to Jeremy and Rachel Hollie and the wonderful house in Cieneguilla, Peru. It was weird to be by a pool getting sun burnt and it being 70 degrees. Back to the song...I have been evaluating my feelings and thoughts on why Holiday's, and most specifically Christmas, are so special and magical. It is magical because of people. Most specifically Jesus...the most important person. Trees, twinkle lights, presents, carols, gingerbread houses, snowmen, holiday movies, parties with friends, special holiday meals, Christmas cookies, 102.9 playing all Christmas songs beginning in October, festive greetings, White Christmas (the movie). All of these wonderful harmless things mean absolutely nothing compared to the fact that God sent his son Jesus as a baby to make a way for me to know my creator God. That my friends is magical and all the Christmas I need. I want to feel magical about that every day and not just in December. While I miss the festivities and decor of the season I am grateful that this is a lesson I have learned. To be content no matter the circumstances or the decoration.

I am still going to enjoy the season and festivities when I return for Christmas, I haven't turned into the Grinch. I am happy about the trees, twinkle lights, and special time with family and friends, but my heart has changed with the way I see it and the place it holds.

It was magical today seeing all the flags representing countries our students are from at ICSL. It was magical hearing a Japanese family sing a song about Jesus, in Japanese (and the most wonderful family harmony I've heard). After, the Gospel was shared to the whole school encouraging our children to allow themselves to be used by God to take Jesus to their countries. That was magical and it had nothing to do with Christmas.

Blessings and Merry Christmas!

Life Out of Context

Context. The circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood and assessed.

Some people spend their whole lives out of context, others never try, not even for a week or even a moment.

David Platt challenges you to spend a year out of context at the end of his book Radical. On my way home from church today I had a great conversation with a girl I work with and it reminded me so much of this statement. She is a Missionary Kid who grew up in a Quechua village in Bolivia. I am a girl from the suburbs of the US. Out of context for me was coming here to Sur America. Out of context for my friend was going to North America. I think no matter your circumstances you have to go somewhere that it is hard to understand and fully assess. This is part of the process of being rendered and shaped by a God who won't relent until he has all of us, every part of our heart, and every corner of our mind. Sometimes we have to get out of context before we can realize what we are lacking. It is through the process of assessing and grasping to understand that we become redeemed and His ownership is recovered. A life out of context is valuable to the refinement of a believer. It is when that believer takes The Word or words out of context that it is epic failure. Or better yet when our life seems out of context and we don't even try to seek the truth and realize that Jesus is the only context we need. His word and His truth is the truth of our circumstances and all the context clues we need.

We sing this song at my home church called "Hope of the Nations". It is one of my favorites. When I said the words " the nations" as we sang I used to picture a place outside the US. Now I live in a nation outside of my passport country, out of my usual context, and the song "Hope of the Nations" came to mind. After being in a international community my understanding of the word nations now includes my passport country. In that song the words "the Nations" should be replaced with "all people"....because no matter where you are there are mothers, fathers, children, poor, rich, and all manner of people struggling to figure out their context. The only answer, Jesus, and a sober understanding of the Change in your heart and mind that must take place in order for your heart to be His dwelling place. I mean capital "C" change not little "c" change. Big, mega, life altering, head spinning, heart wrenching CHANGE. Once you come to the point of accepting Christ in your life this process never ends until one day you see him face to face. At that moment all we will be able to say is "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty!". Songs like Hope of the Nations won't even be a distant melodic memory. Can I standsit, get on my face, lay down, dance, be in a group of people, or be alone and say/sing or reflect through silence "Holy, Holy, Holy is the the Lord God Almighty!"?

Just thinking,

Is September really almost over?

Every day I find myself feeling more comfortable calling South America home. I am officially a Peruvian resident. This means that when I leave SA and enter the US I will need my passport and carnet, my Peruvian ID. As comfortable as I am I still have moments where it doesn't seem real, like I'm dreaming. I am so grateful for this dream. I am grateful even when things are hard because I know it could be harder.

What is God doing? He is STRETCHING me and I mean stretching. It isn't like the stretches you do before a workout that make you feel good. They are the kind of stretches you would do to create an extra  appendage, make you 5 inches taller, or have an extra rib or something. It is the kind of stretch that hurts but you know you need it, for a reason unknown by you. It is the kind of stretch you don't see coming.

School is great! Nothing is ever perfect and as with any new job and position for me I begin dreaming and getting a picture in my head of what it can be one day. I'm a builder and a dreamer. I pray that I can let go of my vision and let God be the visionary. Every day I am grateful that he brought me to this place and to a group of people who love the Lord, pray for students, and genuinely pour into their lives. We have Spiritual Emphasis Week this week. Please pray for students who have not yet committed their life to Christ and for those who have and are struggling. Pray that the Lord will do a mighty work this week!

I've been going to different churches in the area every week. I've already visited all the churches with English services and am now visiting Spanish speaking churches. Today and last week I went to a church called Camino de Vida. I really like this church and really feel at home. Before I came to Peru all I heard was don't try to find a church like you had at home. After going to this church I said, "Does it count if I found one like my church when I wasn't looking?". It is a fantastic church with awesome worship and solid biblical teaching. Services are in Spanish but this is a bonus because it will help me learn and speak better Spanish. I am able to get things out of the sermon and don't feel totally lost. Some days it is easier to translate than others, depending on who is speaking (in any church). Bummer...It takes about 45 minutes via bus and combi to get there. A combi is a small van crammed with a ton of people. A man hangs out the side window calling out where they are going. This call almost sounds like a song to me and I am often distracted my the rhythm and cantor and cannot understand what they say. If you want to go there you wave them down and hop on. You are lucky if they slow down to a stop for you to get on and wait until you are seated before they go. Friends, you know I like this church when I am willing to ride a bus and a combi to get there. I am not a fan of public transportation in the US...so this is a stretch. Combi's are so uncomfortable for this large Norte Americana. I have to sit sideways because my legs will not fit behind the seat. If you don't get a seat you have to stoop while you hold on to whatever you can so you don't fall all over the place. It is truly a cultural experience and the cheapest way to get around. One trip is 50 centimos or 18 cents. Back to church...they have 5, 000 members and a ton of services and opportunities to get plugged in. The pastor started 2 orphanages and gives wheelchairs to handicapped people. They have a huge heart for social injustice, are very active in sharing Jesus so he can change peoples lives, and planting churches.  I know I need to keep looking but I really feel like this is a place I could settle. Plus...the man sitting beside me today invited me to his house to have dinner with he and his wife. Did I mention their praise choir practices on Tuesday night? I wonder if they practice jumping on stage like they did today and last week during worship? It was awesome! I'm going to keep praying and seeking where God wants me to be.

I learned the district I live in, Miraflores, is approximately 3.7 miles with app. 85,000 people. This is why it is so easy to walk everywhere, bonus. It is amazes me how big 3.5 miles can seem. Most people have a dog here. As it turns out I like dogs when living in the US where they have space and grass to roam in and use the bathroom. Not so much when 85,000 people live within 3.5 miles and there is no animal control, there are no dog parks, or waste disposal systems. No wonder we can't drink the water. I struggle with sanitary conditions here for that reason alone. I am really sensitive to it right now and hope this will change over time, but I'm not sure. I have always been an animal lover and wanted a dog for a long time. Living here has taken away my love of animals. Strange.

I went to the movies on Saturday night with another teacher friend. As we walked up to the entrance of the mall I heard, "Miss Parsons!". Now it feels like home. Hearing "Miss Parsons!" while I'm out and about on a weekend in a district of 85,000 people feels strangely normal. Strangely normal...this is a new description for how life is right now. Things are strange but becoming a new normal.

Here is a song we have sung at church the past 2 weeks. I love it and God has used it in the stretching. Read the lyrics in English but listen in Spanish (the link is below text). Con todo Dios.

With Everything :

Open our hearts,
To see the things
That make Your heart cry,
To be the church
The You would desire.
Light to be seen.

Break down our pride,
And all the walls
We've built up inside,
Our earthly crowns
And all our desires,
We lay at Your feet.

So let hope rise,
And darkness tremble
In Your holy light,
And every eye will see
Jesus, our God,
Great and mighty to be praised.

God of all days,
Glorious in all of Your ways.
Your majesty, the wonder and grace,
In the light of Your name.

With everything,
With everything,
We will shout for your glory.

With everything,
With everything,
We will shout forth your praise.

Our hearts will cry
Be glorified,
Be lifted high,
Above all names.
For You our King,
With everything,
We will shout forth your praise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhIPaW9v-3g

Tension is Good, Transition and Growing Pains

Get ready this is a long one.


These words are strong statements that have been a regular part of my vocabulary for the past year. Yes friends a whole year. When I look at where I am sometimes my first thought is, "Oh my goodness!!! I am living in Peru!!!", sometimes it is "Praise the Lord you have brought me to this place I longed to be for so long!", sometimes it is "Lord, you brought me to this place. Now what?", and other times "Lord....really?"


It is easy to focus on your current circumstances and allow them to shade your emotions and thoughts. This is exactly what the enemy wants. Satan wants you to be disabled in the transition, to allow the pains of growth to render you immobile. Only after looking at the whole picture can you truly see that God is working for his purpose in spite of, through, and because of your circumstances. 


In my Junior year of High School (1997) my church went through the study Experiencing God. The Lord used this in my life to prepare me for my first mission trip the summer before my Senior year. It was on this trip that the Lord called me into full-time ministry. 


Flash forward to August 24, 2011. I am sitting in a house in Peru full of missionary teachers I work with doing the Experiencing God study. Friends I am having a major moment here. I am overwhelmed at God's amazing faithfulness. "Because of your partnership with the gospel form the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on until completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:5-6. He will carry it on until it is complete on the day of the return of our Lord Jesus. It has absolutely nothing to do with me, my timing, my hopes, desires, dreams, or best intentions. I just get to be a part if I choose to surrender, get out of the way, and be a moldable earthen vessel.  


The October before I accepted the call to Peru I went to a church leadership conference called Catalyst. Catalyst is put on by Andy Stanley and the ministry of North Point church. The Lord has always used speakers from this conference, most often the first thing Andy Stanley says on Thursday morning. Last year he said, "Tension is good". Excuse me, did you just say tension is good? I was hooked. I had been experiencing spiritual tension from 1996 when God started working on me until that moment in the Gwinnett Arena. He said we have to understand that God created us with desires and natural tensions that will never be met this side of Glory. Wow ya'll that is pretty powerful. He then proceeded to share a message with us from the Old Testament. Genesis 25: 29-34 gives the account of brothers Jacob and Essau. 



 ²⁹ Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. ³⁰He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom.)
 ³¹ Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.”
 ³² “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”
 ³³ But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.
 ³⁴ Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.
   So Esau despised his birthright.


I am not going to try and quote Andy Stanley. Here is what the Lord showed me in through the scripture Andy shared (I guess I can call him Andy). Hunger is a tension. It is a physical tension and a figurative tension. Esau allowed his physical hunger, his flesh, to override his desire to cherish this coveted birthright. How many times in our spiritual lives do we allow desires, or hungers, to override our calling to glorify the Lord as his children and heirs? What "bowl of stew" are you reaching for in exchange for God's plan. I realized in this moment that I had tensions in my life I had been reaching for that I needed to relinquish to God. I needed to submit and accept that there were longings, even callings, that may not be realized until I see Jesus face to face. It was a huge God moving moment in my life. 


From 1996-2011 (15 yrs) I attempted to help God with the mission he had called me to. I talked about this in one of my first posts. Our flesh tells us if we work harder or look longer we can get where we want to be. Jesus says let go, and trust me and you will be there. When I finally let go is when he finally sent me out.


So...all that to say right now I am in transition and experiencing growing pains. This transition started when I signed my contract at the end of January until now (around 7 months). The most intense months of my life so far have been July and August. Add 15 years of tension and waiting, 7 months of transition and growing pains, and you get a lot of time to let circumstances and trials weigh a woman down. I'm just saying it hasn't been easy to get a picture of what God is doing with me. 


When you go places and hear the same message over and over...God might be trying to tell you something. Tonight a girl in bible study told the same illustration I have heard so many times over the past few years, and more so recently. The picture of a tapestry being woven is a beautiful metaphor for what our perspective is compared to Gods. He is the weaver, we are underneath watching the crazy maze of colors, knots, and clumps. We see a crazy mess that doesn't make sense. God sees beauty and perfection. 


Friends, I am still sitting under the tapestry saying, "Lord I trust you are making a beautiful picture, I don't want to get in the way". God is saying, "Get out from under there where it is messy and look at the big picture I am creating something beautiful". He will complete the good work on the day we see Jesus face to face. Don't trade in your front row seat for a bowl of stew. Know that things look messy, but will turn out beautiful if we don't get lost in transition. 

"And when the earth fades, falls from my eyes, and you stand before me. I know you love me, I know you love me. At the cross I bow my knee, where you blood was shed for me, there's no greater love than this. You have overcome the grave, glory in the highest place, what can separate us now." ~Hillsong

Picture Post

Hello Friends and Family!

As with all of my posts from Peru please be gracious with my editing issues. When I do spell check it thinks I should be writing in Spanish so everything is highlighted yellow. I proof read and re-read but sometimes I just have to click Publish Post and be done with it.

I thought I would give you a tour of where I live. I hope you enjoy seeing pictures and that it will help frame the picture of what is happening here in Peru.

This is the view when you walk into the apartment. The apartment has been lived in by the same 2 girls for the past 3 years or so which is why it is so well established. It allowed me to feel somewhat settled because everything was already here. My roommate's name is Yvonne DelSanto a super sweet person.

This is the view going into the kitchen. You know what it says on the side mirror of your car? Objects may be larger than they appear. This is not true in this case. I can touch the ceiling without really stretching and the sink is below my waist :-)

Kitchen view...you really have to be creative with storage (laundry is off to the left).

View from the roof of our building. Interesting fact, Peruvians love their dogs. You see them all over the city both on and off leash. Remember I live in a busy part of town...really busy. One night we were walking to a coffee shop and I saw a lady with a Golden retriever off leash. She stopped, looked at the dog and said, "Ok, which way do you want to go?". The dog walked toward the street and she followed.   This was on a busy 4 lane divided street that I have to cross with extreme caution because pedestrians don't have the right of way. While I was out on the roof taking this picture I saw 2 large Husky type dogs on a roof a few buildings over. What were they doing you say? Probably going potty or having "yard" play time. Here the roof is the yard and potty for dogs. Needless to say since I found this out I don't go up there much. There are not any of the nice doggy trash bags stands around for you to clean up after you dog. You just have to watch where you step when you are walking around the city.

This is the Malecon. It is a park that runs along the coast line in Miraflores, really a nice place. We saw a giant pillow fight there one day. Not to far of a walk from my apartment.

Another Malecon pic :-)

Another view from another missionary apartment that is on the 5th floor a couple blocks from my building.

I hope you get a good idea of where I am. I will post more as life begins to take shape and school life isn't as consuming. It has been a whirlwind but very good. Please continue to pray that the Lord will guide by His Spirit and through his word. Pray that I will rely on His strength and not my own. School started this week and I felt like it was a good start. As with anything new there are challenges but I know the Lord is in control!

Blessings for today

All Things New

Greetings from Peru!!
I have been here for 14 days and feel much more comfortable than I thought I would. I have been challenged more in my understanding of what I "need" to live and have been coping with a whole new way of life. Here are the top 10 things that are different. Different isn't bad and in most cases it is for the better.

1-My ministry and job are one in the same...I get to talk about the Lord with my students! This also means I have one job. Which for me has not been the case in several years. Sunday's right now are very strange. I almost feel out of place or like I am not doing something that I should be doing. Like I'm skipping class or something.

2-I walk to and from work everyday (around 15 minutes). Great weight loss program and way to learn the road system.

3-I walk everywhere ie. store, shopping, dinner, to a friends house, church.

4-My apartment is in one of the busiest parts of this district, Miraflores. So much street noise that I had to wear earplugs to sleep the first few days. Now I use a dehumidifier to muffle the noise. There is a grocery store, bank, and excellent restaurant all on my block.

5- My ability to communicate with family and friends has changed drastically (I teared up several times the first week because I didn't have phone or internet). Because I only talk to people maybe once a week my conversations have become more meaningful.

6- I haven't watched TV since I left on July 18 and don't care at all about having one. Although I did watch a movie on my laptop Sunday afternoon before a nap.

7- I have only cooked twice since I've been here because grocery shopping and cooking is not the same, and I don't have as much time. I think I went through a whole box of matches trying to light the gas stove. Plus, restaurant food is amazing and affordable!

8- I have trouble speaking English because I am trying to get better with my Spanish and am saying goofy things. I really need a tutor.

9-I have been wearing some form of tennis shoe every day. For those that know my history with shoes you will appreciate this. For those that don't know...it isn't something I'm proud of.

10-I miss my family and friends much more than I anticipated.

I really do love it here and have really enjoyed my experiences so far. The weather is very grey most days and people walk around with grey sad faces. I felt strange walking around smiling the first couple of days. The past couple of days the sun has peeked through to remind us it still exists. Today it was out so long I got to see it set and then saw stars later on because the cloud cover had diminished. As we walked through the Malecon, a huge park that travels along the coast, we came upon a large group of people having a pillow fight. Yes, I said a pillow fight. There were about a hundred or so teenagers and young people with their pillows whomping each other in an organized fashion. It was so great. I wished I had my pillow.

Today was the Peruvian Independence Day. As I walked the empty streets seeing families gather it made me miss my family, friends, and anything familiar. I think it is possible to be excited about all the new possibilities and friendships, maintain sweet relationships from the past, and maintain my sanity. Tonight some of the staff got together to celebrate Peru's independence. It was so nice to bond with these new friends and co-workers as we prepare to start the school year.

Wednesday is our first day of school. Please pray for the ICSL staff, students, and families...especially with all the newness. The start of the school year is always crazy but this year in particular. I know the Lord has a perfect plan and I long to step aside and see his plan and not mine.

There have been so many new things and adjustments I can't even put them all into words. We began our teacher in-service training this week. Since the first day I sat foot in the building the Lord has been speaking to me and my creative juices have been flowing like never before. I've been having the kind of moments when you feel acutely aware that the Lord is planting a thought or a vision, so real that it gives you cold chills. I just keep praying that the Lord will guide me and use me. I know the Lord has me here and has a purpose for my life taking this dramatic turn. I am so thrilled about what He is doing!

Matthew 5:13-16 Striving to be salt and light!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

Well... I wish I could say this was going to be a super uplifting and encouraging post, I hope it will be but I don't want to make any promises I can't keep. I just want to be real. Truth is I'm kinda sad, a little emotional, excited, tired, ready, and a whole bunch of other descriptors I'll spare you. Somehow putting my thoughts out in cyberspace helps me to process all the mountains of things I'm trying to process. I feel like a computer when the hourglass/color-wheel spins relentlessly. You wait for the page to load and it keeps spinning. This is how I feel my hourglass/color-wheel is spinning and nothing is happening. My parents living room floor has four large suitcases scattered around. I've been relying on prayer, the bathroom scale, and a luggage weight to help make sure my bags are at the right weight. Tonight I put the scales away and just put the stuff in the bag. As my dad said your not going on a trip your going to live. I am carrying 26 pounds of Choral Octavos!! That's choir sheet music for all you non-musuc teacher folks. I've also been rehearsing how I will maneuver these bags through customs. If you know me well you know I am an over-packer to a fault. I have always just thrown a bunch of clothes in the bag and figured things out when I got to my destination. This time I have not been able to do that and the packing process was so not fun. I am pretty much done as of tonight...hallelujah!! Let me just say I have kept the company who produces SpaceBags in business. P.S. I DO NOT like the roll out SpaceBags. Rolling all that air out caused some pretty serious hand/wrist pain and I am no wimp.

There are so many things the Lord has been showing me but primarily about how much this place, planet earth, is not my home. I have driven in my preverbal tent pegs really deep. Several times in the past month I have found myself in piles of stuff. I thought I had eliminated everything preventing me from going unhindered, but I was wrong. Every day the Lord shows me something or some place in my heart that I don't trust him. Every day he says to me, "How much do you want to serve?, What are you willing to let go of?, What are you willing to endure for my names sake?" Many of my married friends tell me that when they got married they realized how selfish they were. Then when they have kids they retract the previous statement and say, "Now I really know how selfish I am".  This whole process of becoming a teacher, missionary, and world traveler has taught this girl just how selfish I am. It has made me reflect on the depth of my relationship with Christ, rely on him more than ever before, and trust in areas I've been trying to be self-sufficient in my entire adult life.

I've been reading RADICAL by David Platt as some of you know based on previous posts. I am living out the Radical year experiment he describes in the last chapter. I finished reading it just before I left and it encouraged and challenged my thought processes. I am so grateful God has given me this opportunity this chance to serve him in this capacity. Matthew chapter 10 also rocked my spiritual world this week.

I'm finishing up this post in a bed in Lima, Peru. My flight got in today or should I say yesterday. The clock is showing 1:35 am Lima, which means my body thinks it is 2:35. I go to my apartment tomorrow. My roommate won't be there until Saturday so I will be on my own to get familiar with the place. The girls that picked us up from the airport are super sweet and welcoming. I am so excited to meet everyone else. I had 4 bags that I intended on checking and was politely told that I could only take 2 ;-) I then proceeded to perform the airport shuffle with my mom and dad as partners. Now we are figuring out how to get the rest of my clothes and teaching materials to Peru and not have to take out a loan or sell an organ on the black market. The ticket clerk thanked me for not falling out and having a tantrum on the floor.

Folks it is humid in Lima. It doesn't even touch Mississippi humidity.

Pray for a smooth transition as I learn how to get around in my new home and get to work in a couple of weeks.

P.S. If there are numerous grammar errors just give me a break. Spell check thinks I should be typing in Spanish and everything is yellow or underlined. I am not editing tonight:-)

Blessings for today

Where I've Been, Where I Am, and Where I'm Going

Greeting from Pre Field training in Mississippi. I never in all my wildest dreams imagined that this time would be like this. I've only been here for 4 days and it feels like an eternity.

I spent the 2 weeks before I left for Mississippi with 2 dear friends The Turner's and the Alley's. I was so blessed by my time with these dear friends. Bobby and Christine gave me so much grace with my crazy busy schedule. That is precious time I know I can't ever get back. Amy and Joel threw a big sending off party that was so beautiful.  I spent the weekend before orientation with the Boyd family. It was so wonderful to see my sweet friends Robin and Coleman and their 6 precious children. Their family was a blessing and encouragement to me the couple days I was with them.

I am so excited but am so overwhelmed by all the important information and the new relationships I am forming. Yesterday I found out who my roommate will be in Peru. She has a puppy, she lives within walking distance of the school, and I think she is pretty close to my age. Her name is Yvonne. I am so excited!! I emailed her and am anxiously waiting to hear back :-)... I guess it is ok to use smiley face symbols in blogs and not just text messages.

Yesterday we heard from the president and founder of NICS, Joe Hale. He is the neatest man and told us the story of how NICS was founded. I don't believe there were many dry eyes in the place. I have to tell you that God's hand is all over this organization. It was the Lord's plan from the beginning. We visited the home office today and have met the staff over the past few days. There are so many amazing godly leaders who work for the Lord. It is humbling and over whelming to hear to stories of how God is working in the lives of teachers, students, and families all over the world. The gospel is being shared and lives are being changed. I am so happy to be a part of this work. I love hearing all the Third Culture Kids stories. I love hearing the life changes happening in the young people who have been a part of the NICS schools all over the world.

I have met some of the staff already serving in Lima as well as the other new folks coming in with me. It is so neat to see how God has been working in all of our lives to prepare us for this time and for this work. I am getting so excited about what life will be like in Lima!!

Despite all of the excitement there are also moments of sadness and frustration with this major life transition. I missed the birth of my nephew, Finley Elliot. I missed the week he was in the NICU and I won't be there for his surgery next week. I miss sleeping in a regular bed. I miss showering in a normal shower relatively close to where I sleep. I miss being outside. I miss being active during the day. All of it really silly but when it all adds up it can be overwhelming.  I miss the familiar. I miss community. All of this is so worth what we are being prepared to do and small on the scale of necessary and I'm pretty sure it will be harder once I arrive in Peru. I've been told it will be the hardest year of my life.  I'll leave you with this word from 1 Peter.

 1 Peter 1:1-2 " Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, though the sanctifying work of the spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood. Grace and peace be yours in abundance".

I've learned that this was written to people like me. People who are scattered out of obedience to Christ. I am called to be a part of a people who choose another land to live their life out in service to Christ and the spreading of his Gospel.

1 Peter 1:6-7 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

I have learned that these trials and the ones to come are placed in my life for a purpose. I will gladly walk the path Christ has laid out for me, trials and all.

Blessings

Support

Over the past 5 or so months it has been amazing to see the outpouring of support from family, friends, my church, co-workers, students and random strangers. Everyone seems to know someone who is in Peru, has been to Peru, or just knows a lot about Peru. People have been handing me cards and slips of paper all with a contact of someone I can connect with when I get to Lima. I have stuffed my brain with as much as information as possible and think the rest will just have to come when I get there.

The past 5 months have been a whirlwind.

There have been times when concerns over finances or worrying if I could get paperwork done and in a timely manner would totally consume me. The Lord has taken every concern or worry and ushered it out the door like yesterday's trash. My spirit is overwhelmed with the peace of our Heavenly Father and his lavish provision, grace, and faithfulness. Here is one small example of how the Lord has provided. A week ago I was at a restaurant buying dinner for myself and a friend. On the way there I remembered I had a gift card for the restaurant and got really excited. When it was time to pay the gift card covered all but chump change. I didn't have the cash to cover it so I handed the girl at the counter my Debit card. It is important to not at this point that I was picking up the take-out from the bar. While I waited for my dinner there was a man sitting beside me having his night cap and playing trivia, it was obvious he had been there for a while if you catch my drift. He apparently had been watching and when I handed the girl my debit card to pay for the balance of my bill this man intercepted it with cash and said, "Oh no, let me". I am here to tell you that God cares about even the little things and will provide for us even through the most unlikely means.

I have been learning so much about trust and fully relying on God in everything. I asked God to help me make a phone call today to the insurance company about needing a 6 month prescription authorization at 5:30pm. Prayed I could talk to a human and get it done tonight.  I was off the phone in just a few minutes. Or when I stood in line a the post office while everyone tried to figure out how to fill an M-Bag hoping the two 24 pound bags wouldn't cost a fortune. I prayed the whole way there it wouldn't be more than $200. When the total rang up $197.37 I almost cried right there in front of the awkward man helping me. 

I am just 7 days away from the 2 week Pre-Field orientation in Mississippi and almost one month until I am on the plane to Peru. I am so excited!! I covet your prayers as I begin this major life change.

You know what I am most excited about? I am so excited that I get to teach music and Jesus at the same time. I'm not just saying that because my new job title is missionary. The coolest thing this week was reading the notes my students wrote to me in the journal one of my students passed around the whole school as a gift for me. I was never able to stand up and openly share my faith at school. In their notes I knew they could tell something was different about me. I am so excited to be able to share what makes me different and that is JESUS! I'm not just excited about the teaching aspect of my job. I am excited to get plugged in to a local church and serve. I am excited to get involved in the community. I am just plain excited!!! I know it will be hard. I know I will miss my people here like crazy but I know I am going to do what God has called me to do. That my friends is exciting.

I kind of feel like Rudy Ruettiger in the movie RUDY, one of my all time favorite movies. He tried for years to get on the Notre Dame football team as a walk on. He was really small and not that great. He basically allowed himself to be a practice punching bag for all the real players. He finally got his chance the last game of his eligible season. He got out on the field and was running around. He was so excited he didn't now what to do. I hope I know what to do (smile, wink).


Blessings

Gatherings, Friends, and Good-Bye

Last night was my first send-off gathering by close friends. Over the next few weeks I will be doing this several times. If you know me well you know that I am a people person. I have kept very close ties with several friends from my college days. There are also close new friendships and ties with my home church here in the Huntersville area. I really value relationships and friendships. Friendships are like cherished treasures more valuable to me than any material item.

I enjoy seeing my friends through all of life's stages. I've seen them through dating, marriage, and now families. I love watching their kids play together and seeing them transform into wonderful parents. I have always looked up to them. I love being with them through all of life's ups and downs. Being a part of peoples live and them a part of yours is what life is all about.  You can't take things with you but the relationships you have had along the way stay in your heart forever. True friendship is a gift that never gets tossed to the back of your closet or discarded in a move.

The knowledge that this move will change relationships is the tough. I don't know where I will be living or who I will be living with. There are no details about what it will be like once I step off the plane July 18. None of that bothers me or makes me nervous. The hardest part about leaving is saying good-bye. My coping mechanism is knowing I will be back to visit over the Holiday's. So this is not good-by just see you in January. I am saying good-bye to more than people. It is the close of this chapter and the beginning of another. As one person put it,  I am starting over.

My feet aren't even on Peruvian soil yet and I am already being stretched in my relationship with God. In small group we have been reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. It has really opened my eyes to a lot. I realize I wrap so much of my security in having great friendships and don't always fully rely on God like I should. I lean on people for so much. The first thing I do when I get in the car is call my mom on the phone and if she doesn't answer I try until I find someone else to talk to. I use people as a way to avoid being alone. There...I said it. I don't want to be alone. As a teenager I always struggled with fitting in and feeling like I didn't have real friendships. I made it my life's mission to never feel alone, unwanted, or like the outsider band geek I really was. Don't get me wrong God wants us to have meaningful encouraging friendships but he never means for us to put anything between us and him. I am learning to hand over so many areas of my life I thought made me secure. My security is in the LORD and HE is my strength!! 


"10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. 
13-18 Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."


Ephesians 6:10-18 The Message




This is one of my favorite songwriters and singers from the band NeedToBreathe. This is such a fantastic song "Stones Under Rushing Water". The years truly go by so quickly and we waste it by not dancing before the Lord, our creator. 

The Letter M

There are many words that begin with the letter M. Here are some words that define my life right now.

M is for May,  Moving, and Mess. 

May means countdown time...I move out of my apartment in 4 weeks. My apartment is a mess with boxes, clothes, and things all over the place. What I don't sell I am packing and what I don't pack I am giving away. 

If you know me really well you know that I  don't have a ton of "stuff" (except for clothes and shoes and I already got rid of those). I have moved too many times to have a lot of stuff. Each time I move I downsize and this time it is a major downsize. When I knew I needed to get rid of things I just prayed that the Lord would bring people to me. What I have isn't worth a lot but I knew I didn't need to just give it all away. Some of my furniture I just bought when I moved in to my apartment in July. The money I get from selling my stuff will go towards the move overseas and all the cost that goes with a continental move. 

My bedroom furniture, baskets, and side table went to my friend Debbie from school. She and her girls were excited to get the furniture. Laney has already bumped her head on the glass table. My sweet friend Lori Anne was really needing to get a car for her daughter. My friend Bobby and Christine are purchasing my couch, chair, and ottoman for a family member. My move is providing for others. God is so good!! 

M is also for Memories and Management of stress and emotions. 

I have been taking a lot of trips down memory lane.  I have so many fond memories of special people and places I've gone with those people. I even went on iTunes and bought my favorite music from the 90's. I have asked myself many times how I can take these people and places with me. How can I still be who I am and love those close to me so far away? So much of who I am is wrapped up in relationships. I try to leave a piece of myself with them and take a piece of them with me. My dear friend Amy encouraged me to let the relationships change with the circumstances. The book I am reading encourages me to mourn those changes and look froward with hope and anticipation.  I have been leaving sentimental items with friends and family and packing as many photo's as possible. 

When you move there is always stress but when you move to another continent there is a little more stress than usual. For weeks I woke up with headaches that never went away and felt this knot in my neck.  I was also unable to sleep because as soon as I lay down I my brain wouldn't shut down. I had to up my workout routine so I could manage. I'm not going to lie...I'm a little anxious about the unknown but so excited to take it on!

Through it all I have seen the Lords hand. His immeasurable kindness, faithfulness, and blessings are like a river washing over me. On my way to work a few weeks ago I started crying because I was overwhelmed with how good the Lord has been. After choir practice one evening I was talking to a friend and she commented on how I seemed different and my singing was different, in a good way. I told her that for the first time in 16 years I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be. There isn't something else out there I am missing or something else I was supposed to do. I was made to take this journey and all the destinations along the way.

Our pastor gave the illustration one Sunday of a little boy who was sitting on the floor beside his mother watching her cross stitch. As he watched her work all he saw was the mess of knots and ties underneath. He commented on how ugly and messy it was. She said, "Just be patient I am working on a beautiful picture. Just trust me and wait you will see".  I have often felt like that child. I have wandered, been confused, and even frustrated at times because I couldn't see the picture. I finally feel like I got a peek at the picture and can't wait to see the rest!! I finally understand what it means in Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I really know what trust means and not leaning on my own understanding. I get it...finally. 

For now I will continue to build my RAFT. The book I am reading uses RAFT as a way to handle a transition like I am going through in a healthy way.  

R- Reconciliation

Make sure you don't take relationship baggage with you to another continent.

A- Affirmation

Tell those you love just how much they mean to you. 

F- Farewells

Reminisce and say good bye and try to take sentiments with you.

T- Think Destination

Look at external and internal resources for coping

Blessings for today!

I'm a Weeper

I borrowed that line from Jude Law in "The Holiday". Lately I cry at the drop of a hat. A good show, a sad commercial, a students football video during Talent Share day, showing pictures of my niece to a complete stranger, and when anyone hangs up the phone with me. I knew it would be hard to leave but the tearful moments are coming at strange times. I know this is part of the process and I am really trying to get a grip on the tears.

We are blessed by the technology age. Global communication is much easier, faster, and accessible to the masses. In my preparations for Peru I find comfort that goodbye isn't goodbye forever. Skype is free, Vonage is affordable, and Facebook is...well, the same.

I have loved hearing about missionaries from the time I was a little girl in Mission Friends and GA's (all you Southern Baptist girls will feel me on this). Along with the Great Commission (which is enough on it's own) many quiet times, people, books, talks, and sermons have influenced my heart for missions.  Nothing has impacted me more than the letter I heard read from the pulpit one Sunday morning when the pastor was talking about missions. I will never forget the day that I heard a beautiful letter written to a father by his daughters betrothed.

"I have now to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure for a heathen land, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of a missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean; to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death. Can you consent to all this, for the sake of Him who left his heavenly home, and died for her and for you; for the sake of perishing immortal souls; for the sake of Zion, and the glory of God? Can you consent to all this, in hope of soon meeting your daughter in the world of glory, with a crown of righteousness, brightened by the acclamations of praise which shall redound to her Savior from heathens saved, through her means, from eternal woe and despair?"

This was a portion of the letter Adaniram Judson wrote Anne Hasseltine's father to ask for her hand in marriage. After hearing a little bit about their lives that Sunday I decided I needed to hear more. I bought two books on their ministry and lives. I highly recommend "My Heart in His Hands" the memoirs of Anne Judson. Anne and Adaniram Judson lead amazing selfless missional lives to the Glory of God. Imagine the tears her family shed as she prepared to go on the field. Some missionaries didn't survive the month long boat ride to where they were going to serve. All I have to do is take a 7 hr plane ride. When I think of what missions was like then and what it is now I wonder if any of us would have been willing. Even with the ease in communication and travel may we never take for granted what the call to serve means, laying down your life. May we all understand the call to spread the Gospel of Christ and the RADICAL life style that it requires no matter our location in the world.

"When we realize we have a responsibility to teach the Word, it changes everything  about how we hear the Word... God's word is being multiplied because the people of God are no longer listening as if his Word is intended to stop with them. They are now living as if God's Word is intended to spread through them." David Platt  RADICAL


Blessings

March Madness

My March madness has nothing to do with basketball. Every time someone brings up basketball or anything normal I feel so disconnected. My brain is divided between Peru, Pine Lake, and CCC (in no particular order) and I have trouble thinking about normal life. Shopping no longer holds enjoyment and I felt uncomfortable in a mall. There is also this intense need to spend time with people and talk to my family on the phone. Spanish tutoring with my good friend SariElaine starts tomorrow!

This is the busy season at school and things are getting ready to wind up for the race to the end. The Evening with the Arts and my Chorus concert are a week apart in April, after that it is all down hill at school. I am presenting to the CCC mission board the same week as the Art Show. I am praying for the Lord to guide that meeting and my relationship with the church here in Huntersville.

I have been tirelessly preparing paperwork and documents to get ready for my move to Peru. Paper work is not my strength. I am praying that I don't miss a step.

The paperwork that is most nerve racking is the renewal process for my NC Teaching License. My renewal cycle is up in June. I worked really hard on getting all of my papers in order (almost 9 years of certificates and documents from 3 institutions). I mailed it out this week and the state of NC says they won't review the document until after April 15. This late date gives me no time to correct any errors, should any come up, before I move in June. I pray every day not to stress out and worry about this. I trust the Lord but not the NC Dept. of Public Instruction. The Lords will be done!

I have created and sent out my first round of prayer support cards and packets. I was really proud of the way things turned out and am learning how to trust the Lord more completely with finances and provision.

I have spent countless hours researching my new home. I am sure that nothing can adequately paint a picture of what it is really like there.

Here is what I have read so far (some are a little crazy):

• Miraflores is the area of Lima where the school is located. It is one of the most modern areas in Lima. With most of the comforts of the states.
• I am not supposed to allow government officials to bribe me should they ask.
• Ceviche is something I might need to try before I get to Peru
• Peru is foggy and humid most of the year and only sunny in the summer months. The climate is generally mild. 
• The poverty level in Peru is not rising but there are many "Young Towns" (shanty towns) surrounding the city.
• There are several bilingual churches in the area. 
• My biggest expense will be housing
• An average lunch out is $2-$3 (this includes appetizers, entree, and drink)
• I have to pack things I need in suitcases and can't ship things
• I can only pack one wind instrument (per the Peruvian customs)
• I shouldn't wear earrings because my ears might get torn off during a mugging
• I should line my purse with chicken wire to "knife proof" it from muggers

As you can see I've been incredibly busy. Through all the madness I am still so excited about what God has for me in Peru. I have a renewed sense of purpose and focus.

I am holding tight to Psalm 112:7-8 "I will not fear bad news; my heart will be steadfast, trusting in the Lord. My heart is secure, I will have no fear; in the end I will look in triumph on my foes."

Blessings for today,

Beginnings

This journey began at a World Changers mission trip in Memphis, TN in 1996.  God called me into full-time ministry through missions after one of our speakers gave his testimony to wrap up the weeks work. I was moved that week and loved the work. I felt like I had found my place.  God called and I said, "Here I am Lord, send me". I went on a 1 month mission trip to Honduras, CA the following summer and haven't been the same since. After 15 years of waiting, praying, searching and wondering if that call was real the Lord has opened a door!

I leave for Lima, Peru on July 17, 2011. I am so excited that this dream, desire, and prayer has finally been answered. Over the past few years I have been so discontent and unsettled. I couldn't figure out why, after all of these years, I still felt so strongly about missions. I found myself praying that God would take the desire away because It was just too painful. I struggled a lot over the past year watching my friends move on, get married, settle down and start families. I wasn't jealous of their marriages but of them being where they wanted to be and accomplishing their dreams.

I have been serving and teaching ever since that trip to Memphis. However, I have always had a vision of ministering overseas, and truth be told it was always to a Spanish speaking culture. Anyone who knows me well knows my love of the Latin culture, especially those who have been Salsa dancing with me. I have always said there is a Latina girl inside me somewhere. My trip to Honduras was the beginning of a great passion and love. I remember crying the day I left and praying that God would give me another chance to go and do ministry.

There have been two specific moments  I knew God was reminding me of the call to mission after the initial call in 1996. One was on the beach in LaCeiba, Honduras with missionary families and their children. I had never felt such a strong sense of purpose and sense that I was in the right place. The other was on a mountain in Quito, Ecuador with my Dad. We had been leading worship at a Mission meeting for the missionaries in South America and hiked one afternoon on our tourist day. The view was amazing and I was overwhelmed with the emotion of being back on the field. It was so quiet.  All I could think of was a song that we sang at church, "Where you lead, I will follow. Where you lead, I will go; to the top of the mountain or the valley below. Through the changing of seasons to your hand I will hold". Dad took my hand and we began the long walk down the mountain. I wasn't saying anything. Dad turned to me and said,  "I know you long to be here and have someone to serve alongside". All I could do was cry. He was right all I have ever longed for was for God to use me and to be a missionary.

I am 31 years old and begin this ministry 4 days after my 32 birthday. I know that the Lord has used this time to prepare me for the journey ahead. I have been teaching and ministering and now have a chance to be teacher and minister all in one.

I will be teaching at the International Christian School in Lima, Peru. This school is supported by a non-profit organization called the Network of International Christian Schools (NICS). This organization believes that a major thrust in evangelism can be done through Christian education. The students in the school are 1/3 Missionary Kids (MK's), 1/3 Claim Christianity as a religion (but do not practice), and 1/3 agnostic (1 muslim). The students are from all over the world and are known as Third Culture Kids (TCK's). I will receive special training on TCK's when I leave for Pre-Field Orientation (PFO) in June. These children have a unique set of issue and perspective on the world and often struggle. I have seen this struggle and feel called to love on these children. The schools director said they had 23 professions of faith last school year and 12 so far this year (out of a total enrollment of 150). One of the first things the director asked me was if I had ever led anyone to the Lord. He said that I would get the opportunity if I came to teach with them. After talking with a few of the current staff members I know that they really minster and disciple their students. I cannot wait to go and serve!!!

So...things have been moving quickly over the past couple of weeks. I have signed a 2 year contract, become an official project with NICS, signed up for Pre-Field Orientation, ordered my first set of prayer support cards, and become a blogger (something I never thought I would do). Trying to keep up with both of my jobs and responsibilities as well as preparing to go is tough but I am so excited!

Blessings for today, Marissa