M is for May, Moving, and Mess.
May means countdown time...I move out of my apartment in 4 weeks. My apartment is a mess with boxes, clothes, and things all over the place. What I don't sell I am packing and what I don't pack I am giving away.
If you know me really well you know that I don't have a ton of "stuff" (except for clothes and shoes and I already got rid of those). I have moved too many times to have a lot of stuff. Each time I move I downsize and this time it is a major downsize. When I knew I needed to get rid of things I just prayed that the Lord would bring people to me. What I have isn't worth a lot but I knew I didn't need to just give it all away. Some of my furniture I just bought when I moved in to my apartment in July. The money I get from selling my stuff will go towards the move overseas and all the cost that goes with a continental move.
My bedroom furniture, baskets, and side table went to my friend Debbie from school. She and her girls were excited to get the furniture. Laney has already bumped her head on the glass table. My sweet friend Lori Anne was really needing to get a car for her daughter. My friend Bobby and Christine are purchasing my couch, chair, and ottoman for a family member. My move is providing for others. God is so good!!
M is also for Memories and Management of stress and emotions.
I have been taking a lot of trips down memory lane. I have so many fond memories of special people and places I've gone with those people. I even went on iTunes and bought my favorite music from the 90's. I have asked myself many times how I can take these people and places with me. How can I still be who I am and love those close to me so far away? So much of who I am is wrapped up in relationships. I try to leave a piece of myself with them and take a piece of them with me. My dear friend Amy encouraged me to let the relationships change with the circumstances. The book I am reading encourages me to mourn those changes and look froward with hope and anticipation. I have been leaving sentimental items with friends and family and packing as many photo's as possible.
When you move there is always stress but when you move to another continent there is a little more stress than usual. For weeks I woke up with headaches that never went away and felt this knot in my neck. I was also unable to sleep because as soon as I lay down I my brain wouldn't shut down. I had to up my workout routine so I could manage. I'm not going to lie...I'm a little anxious about the unknown but so excited to take it on!
Through it all I have seen the Lords hand. His immeasurable kindness, faithfulness, and blessings are like a river washing over me. On my way to work a few weeks ago I started crying because I was overwhelmed with how good the Lord has been. After choir practice one evening I was talking to a friend and she commented on how I seemed different and my singing was different, in a good way. I told her that for the first time in 16 years I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be. There isn't something else out there I am missing or something else I was supposed to do. I was made to take this journey and all the destinations along the way.
Our pastor gave the illustration one Sunday of a little boy who was sitting on the floor beside his mother watching her cross stitch. As he watched her work all he saw was the mess of knots and ties underneath. He commented on how ugly and messy it was. She said, "Just be patient I am working on a beautiful picture. Just trust me and wait you will see". I have often felt like that child. I have wandered, been confused, and even frustrated at times because I couldn't see the picture. I finally feel like I got a peek at the picture and can't wait to see the rest!! I finally understand what it means in Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I really know what trust means and not leaning on my own understanding. I get it...finally.
For now I will continue to build my RAFT. The book I am reading uses RAFT as a way to handle a transition like I am going through in a healthy way.
R- Reconciliation
Make sure you don't take relationship baggage with you to another continent.
A- Affirmation
Tell those you love just how much they mean to you.
F- Farewells
Reminisce and say good bye and try to take sentiments with you.
T- Think Destination
Look at external and internal resources for coping
Blessings for today!
No comments:
Post a Comment