Gatherings, Friends, and Good-Bye

Last night was my first send-off gathering by close friends. Over the next few weeks I will be doing this several times. If you know me well you know that I am a people person. I have kept very close ties with several friends from my college days. There are also close new friendships and ties with my home church here in the Huntersville area. I really value relationships and friendships. Friendships are like cherished treasures more valuable to me than any material item.

I enjoy seeing my friends through all of life's stages. I've seen them through dating, marriage, and now families. I love watching their kids play together and seeing them transform into wonderful parents. I have always looked up to them. I love being with them through all of life's ups and downs. Being a part of peoples live and them a part of yours is what life is all about.  You can't take things with you but the relationships you have had along the way stay in your heart forever. True friendship is a gift that never gets tossed to the back of your closet or discarded in a move.

The knowledge that this move will change relationships is the tough. I don't know where I will be living or who I will be living with. There are no details about what it will be like once I step off the plane July 18. None of that bothers me or makes me nervous. The hardest part about leaving is saying good-bye. My coping mechanism is knowing I will be back to visit over the Holiday's. So this is not good-by just see you in January. I am saying good-bye to more than people. It is the close of this chapter and the beginning of another. As one person put it,  I am starting over.

My feet aren't even on Peruvian soil yet and I am already being stretched in my relationship with God. In small group we have been reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. It has really opened my eyes to a lot. I realize I wrap so much of my security in having great friendships and don't always fully rely on God like I should. I lean on people for so much. The first thing I do when I get in the car is call my mom on the phone and if she doesn't answer I try until I find someone else to talk to. I use people as a way to avoid being alone. There...I said it. I don't want to be alone. As a teenager I always struggled with fitting in and feeling like I didn't have real friendships. I made it my life's mission to never feel alone, unwanted, or like the outsider band geek I really was. Don't get me wrong God wants us to have meaningful encouraging friendships but he never means for us to put anything between us and him. I am learning to hand over so many areas of my life I thought made me secure. My security is in the LORD and HE is my strength!! 


"10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. 
13-18 Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."


Ephesians 6:10-18 The Message




This is one of my favorite songwriters and singers from the band NeedToBreathe. This is such a fantastic song "Stones Under Rushing Water". The years truly go by so quickly and we waste it by not dancing before the Lord, our creator. 

The Letter M

There are many words that begin with the letter M. Here are some words that define my life right now.

M is for May,  Moving, and Mess. 

May means countdown time...I move out of my apartment in 4 weeks. My apartment is a mess with boxes, clothes, and things all over the place. What I don't sell I am packing and what I don't pack I am giving away. 

If you know me really well you know that I  don't have a ton of "stuff" (except for clothes and shoes and I already got rid of those). I have moved too many times to have a lot of stuff. Each time I move I downsize and this time it is a major downsize. When I knew I needed to get rid of things I just prayed that the Lord would bring people to me. What I have isn't worth a lot but I knew I didn't need to just give it all away. Some of my furniture I just bought when I moved in to my apartment in July. The money I get from selling my stuff will go towards the move overseas and all the cost that goes with a continental move. 

My bedroom furniture, baskets, and side table went to my friend Debbie from school. She and her girls were excited to get the furniture. Laney has already bumped her head on the glass table. My sweet friend Lori Anne was really needing to get a car for her daughter. My friend Bobby and Christine are purchasing my couch, chair, and ottoman for a family member. My move is providing for others. God is so good!! 

M is also for Memories and Management of stress and emotions. 

I have been taking a lot of trips down memory lane.  I have so many fond memories of special people and places I've gone with those people. I even went on iTunes and bought my favorite music from the 90's. I have asked myself many times how I can take these people and places with me. How can I still be who I am and love those close to me so far away? So much of who I am is wrapped up in relationships. I try to leave a piece of myself with them and take a piece of them with me. My dear friend Amy encouraged me to let the relationships change with the circumstances. The book I am reading encourages me to mourn those changes and look froward with hope and anticipation.  I have been leaving sentimental items with friends and family and packing as many photo's as possible. 

When you move there is always stress but when you move to another continent there is a little more stress than usual. For weeks I woke up with headaches that never went away and felt this knot in my neck.  I was also unable to sleep because as soon as I lay down I my brain wouldn't shut down. I had to up my workout routine so I could manage. I'm not going to lie...I'm a little anxious about the unknown but so excited to take it on!

Through it all I have seen the Lords hand. His immeasurable kindness, faithfulness, and blessings are like a river washing over me. On my way to work a few weeks ago I started crying because I was overwhelmed with how good the Lord has been. After choir practice one evening I was talking to a friend and she commented on how I seemed different and my singing was different, in a good way. I told her that for the first time in 16 years I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be. There isn't something else out there I am missing or something else I was supposed to do. I was made to take this journey and all the destinations along the way.

Our pastor gave the illustration one Sunday of a little boy who was sitting on the floor beside his mother watching her cross stitch. As he watched her work all he saw was the mess of knots and ties underneath. He commented on how ugly and messy it was. She said, "Just be patient I am working on a beautiful picture. Just trust me and wait you will see".  I have often felt like that child. I have wandered, been confused, and even frustrated at times because I couldn't see the picture. I finally feel like I got a peek at the picture and can't wait to see the rest!! I finally understand what it means in Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I really know what trust means and not leaning on my own understanding. I get it...finally. 

For now I will continue to build my RAFT. The book I am reading uses RAFT as a way to handle a transition like I am going through in a healthy way.  

R- Reconciliation

Make sure you don't take relationship baggage with you to another continent.

A- Affirmation

Tell those you love just how much they mean to you. 

F- Farewells

Reminisce and say good bye and try to take sentiments with you.

T- Think Destination

Look at external and internal resources for coping

Blessings for today!