Leaving On A Jet Plane

Well... I wish I could say this was going to be a super uplifting and encouraging post, I hope it will be but I don't want to make any promises I can't keep. I just want to be real. Truth is I'm kinda sad, a little emotional, excited, tired, ready, and a whole bunch of other descriptors I'll spare you. Somehow putting my thoughts out in cyberspace helps me to process all the mountains of things I'm trying to process. I feel like a computer when the hourglass/color-wheel spins relentlessly. You wait for the page to load and it keeps spinning. This is how I feel my hourglass/color-wheel is spinning and nothing is happening. My parents living room floor has four large suitcases scattered around. I've been relying on prayer, the bathroom scale, and a luggage weight to help make sure my bags are at the right weight. Tonight I put the scales away and just put the stuff in the bag. As my dad said your not going on a trip your going to live. I am carrying 26 pounds of Choral Octavos!! That's choir sheet music for all you non-musuc teacher folks. I've also been rehearsing how I will maneuver these bags through customs. If you know me well you know I am an over-packer to a fault. I have always just thrown a bunch of clothes in the bag and figured things out when I got to my destination. This time I have not been able to do that and the packing process was so not fun. I am pretty much done as of tonight...hallelujah!! Let me just say I have kept the company who produces SpaceBags in business. P.S. I DO NOT like the roll out SpaceBags. Rolling all that air out caused some pretty serious hand/wrist pain and I am no wimp.

There are so many things the Lord has been showing me but primarily about how much this place, planet earth, is not my home. I have driven in my preverbal tent pegs really deep. Several times in the past month I have found myself in piles of stuff. I thought I had eliminated everything preventing me from going unhindered, but I was wrong. Every day the Lord shows me something or some place in my heart that I don't trust him. Every day he says to me, "How much do you want to serve?, What are you willing to let go of?, What are you willing to endure for my names sake?" Many of my married friends tell me that when they got married they realized how selfish they were. Then when they have kids they retract the previous statement and say, "Now I really know how selfish I am".  This whole process of becoming a teacher, missionary, and world traveler has taught this girl just how selfish I am. It has made me reflect on the depth of my relationship with Christ, rely on him more than ever before, and trust in areas I've been trying to be self-sufficient in my entire adult life.

I've been reading RADICAL by David Platt as some of you know based on previous posts. I am living out the Radical year experiment he describes in the last chapter. I finished reading it just before I left and it encouraged and challenged my thought processes. I am so grateful God has given me this opportunity this chance to serve him in this capacity. Matthew chapter 10 also rocked my spiritual world this week.

I'm finishing up this post in a bed in Lima, Peru. My flight got in today or should I say yesterday. The clock is showing 1:35 am Lima, which means my body thinks it is 2:35. I go to my apartment tomorrow. My roommate won't be there until Saturday so I will be on my own to get familiar with the place. The girls that picked us up from the airport are super sweet and welcoming. I am so excited to meet everyone else. I had 4 bags that I intended on checking and was politely told that I could only take 2 ;-) I then proceeded to perform the airport shuffle with my mom and dad as partners. Now we are figuring out how to get the rest of my clothes and teaching materials to Peru and not have to take out a loan or sell an organ on the black market. The ticket clerk thanked me for not falling out and having a tantrum on the floor.

Folks it is humid in Lima. It doesn't even touch Mississippi humidity.

Pray for a smooth transition as I learn how to get around in my new home and get to work in a couple of weeks.

P.S. If there are numerous grammar errors just give me a break. Spell check thinks I should be typing in Spanish and everything is yellow or underlined. I am not editing tonight:-)

Blessings for today

Where I've Been, Where I Am, and Where I'm Going

Greeting from Pre Field training in Mississippi. I never in all my wildest dreams imagined that this time would be like this. I've only been here for 4 days and it feels like an eternity.

I spent the 2 weeks before I left for Mississippi with 2 dear friends The Turner's and the Alley's. I was so blessed by my time with these dear friends. Bobby and Christine gave me so much grace with my crazy busy schedule. That is precious time I know I can't ever get back. Amy and Joel threw a big sending off party that was so beautiful.  I spent the weekend before orientation with the Boyd family. It was so wonderful to see my sweet friends Robin and Coleman and their 6 precious children. Their family was a blessing and encouragement to me the couple days I was with them.

I am so excited but am so overwhelmed by all the important information and the new relationships I am forming. Yesterday I found out who my roommate will be in Peru. She has a puppy, she lives within walking distance of the school, and I think she is pretty close to my age. Her name is Yvonne. I am so excited!! I emailed her and am anxiously waiting to hear back :-)... I guess it is ok to use smiley face symbols in blogs and not just text messages.

Yesterday we heard from the president and founder of NICS, Joe Hale. He is the neatest man and told us the story of how NICS was founded. I don't believe there were many dry eyes in the place. I have to tell you that God's hand is all over this organization. It was the Lord's plan from the beginning. We visited the home office today and have met the staff over the past few days. There are so many amazing godly leaders who work for the Lord. It is humbling and over whelming to hear to stories of how God is working in the lives of teachers, students, and families all over the world. The gospel is being shared and lives are being changed. I am so happy to be a part of this work. I love hearing all the Third Culture Kids stories. I love hearing the life changes happening in the young people who have been a part of the NICS schools all over the world.

I have met some of the staff already serving in Lima as well as the other new folks coming in with me. It is so neat to see how God has been working in all of our lives to prepare us for this time and for this work. I am getting so excited about what life will be like in Lima!!

Despite all of the excitement there are also moments of sadness and frustration with this major life transition. I missed the birth of my nephew, Finley Elliot. I missed the week he was in the NICU and I won't be there for his surgery next week. I miss sleeping in a regular bed. I miss showering in a normal shower relatively close to where I sleep. I miss being outside. I miss being active during the day. All of it really silly but when it all adds up it can be overwhelming.  I miss the familiar. I miss community. All of this is so worth what we are being prepared to do and small on the scale of necessary and I'm pretty sure it will be harder once I arrive in Peru. I've been told it will be the hardest year of my life.  I'll leave you with this word from 1 Peter.

 1 Peter 1:1-2 " Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, though the sanctifying work of the spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood. Grace and peace be yours in abundance".

I've learned that this was written to people like me. People who are scattered out of obedience to Christ. I am called to be a part of a people who choose another land to live their life out in service to Christ and the spreading of his Gospel.

1 Peter 1:6-7 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

I have learned that these trials and the ones to come are placed in my life for a purpose. I will gladly walk the path Christ has laid out for me, trials and all.

Blessings

Support

Over the past 5 or so months it has been amazing to see the outpouring of support from family, friends, my church, co-workers, students and random strangers. Everyone seems to know someone who is in Peru, has been to Peru, or just knows a lot about Peru. People have been handing me cards and slips of paper all with a contact of someone I can connect with when I get to Lima. I have stuffed my brain with as much as information as possible and think the rest will just have to come when I get there.

The past 5 months have been a whirlwind.

There have been times when concerns over finances or worrying if I could get paperwork done and in a timely manner would totally consume me. The Lord has taken every concern or worry and ushered it out the door like yesterday's trash. My spirit is overwhelmed with the peace of our Heavenly Father and his lavish provision, grace, and faithfulness. Here is one small example of how the Lord has provided. A week ago I was at a restaurant buying dinner for myself and a friend. On the way there I remembered I had a gift card for the restaurant and got really excited. When it was time to pay the gift card covered all but chump change. I didn't have the cash to cover it so I handed the girl at the counter my Debit card. It is important to not at this point that I was picking up the take-out from the bar. While I waited for my dinner there was a man sitting beside me having his night cap and playing trivia, it was obvious he had been there for a while if you catch my drift. He apparently had been watching and when I handed the girl my debit card to pay for the balance of my bill this man intercepted it with cash and said, "Oh no, let me". I am here to tell you that God cares about even the little things and will provide for us even through the most unlikely means.

I have been learning so much about trust and fully relying on God in everything. I asked God to help me make a phone call today to the insurance company about needing a 6 month prescription authorization at 5:30pm. Prayed I could talk to a human and get it done tonight.  I was off the phone in just a few minutes. Or when I stood in line a the post office while everyone tried to figure out how to fill an M-Bag hoping the two 24 pound bags wouldn't cost a fortune. I prayed the whole way there it wouldn't be more than $200. When the total rang up $197.37 I almost cried right there in front of the awkward man helping me. 

I am just 7 days away from the 2 week Pre-Field orientation in Mississippi and almost one month until I am on the plane to Peru. I am so excited!! I covet your prayers as I begin this major life change.

You know what I am most excited about? I am so excited that I get to teach music and Jesus at the same time. I'm not just saying that because my new job title is missionary. The coolest thing this week was reading the notes my students wrote to me in the journal one of my students passed around the whole school as a gift for me. I was never able to stand up and openly share my faith at school. In their notes I knew they could tell something was different about me. I am so excited to be able to share what makes me different and that is JESUS! I'm not just excited about the teaching aspect of my job. I am excited to get plugged in to a local church and serve. I am excited to get involved in the community. I am just plain excited!!! I know it will be hard. I know I will miss my people here like crazy but I know I am going to do what God has called me to do. That my friends is exciting.

I kind of feel like Rudy Ruettiger in the movie RUDY, one of my all time favorite movies. He tried for years to get on the Notre Dame football team as a walk on. He was really small and not that great. He basically allowed himself to be a practice punching bag for all the real players. He finally got his chance the last game of his eligible season. He got out on the field and was running around. He was so excited he didn't now what to do. I hope I know what to do (smile, wink).


Blessings

Gatherings, Friends, and Good-Bye

Last night was my first send-off gathering by close friends. Over the next few weeks I will be doing this several times. If you know me well you know that I am a people person. I have kept very close ties with several friends from my college days. There are also close new friendships and ties with my home church here in the Huntersville area. I really value relationships and friendships. Friendships are like cherished treasures more valuable to me than any material item.

I enjoy seeing my friends through all of life's stages. I've seen them through dating, marriage, and now families. I love watching their kids play together and seeing them transform into wonderful parents. I have always looked up to them. I love being with them through all of life's ups and downs. Being a part of peoples live and them a part of yours is what life is all about.  You can't take things with you but the relationships you have had along the way stay in your heart forever. True friendship is a gift that never gets tossed to the back of your closet or discarded in a move.

The knowledge that this move will change relationships is the tough. I don't know where I will be living or who I will be living with. There are no details about what it will be like once I step off the plane July 18. None of that bothers me or makes me nervous. The hardest part about leaving is saying good-bye. My coping mechanism is knowing I will be back to visit over the Holiday's. So this is not good-by just see you in January. I am saying good-bye to more than people. It is the close of this chapter and the beginning of another. As one person put it,  I am starting over.

My feet aren't even on Peruvian soil yet and I am already being stretched in my relationship with God. In small group we have been reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. It has really opened my eyes to a lot. I realize I wrap so much of my security in having great friendships and don't always fully rely on God like I should. I lean on people for so much. The first thing I do when I get in the car is call my mom on the phone and if she doesn't answer I try until I find someone else to talk to. I use people as a way to avoid being alone. There...I said it. I don't want to be alone. As a teenager I always struggled with fitting in and feeling like I didn't have real friendships. I made it my life's mission to never feel alone, unwanted, or like the outsider band geek I really was. Don't get me wrong God wants us to have meaningful encouraging friendships but he never means for us to put anything between us and him. I am learning to hand over so many areas of my life I thought made me secure. My security is in the LORD and HE is my strength!! 


"10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. 
13-18 Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."


Ephesians 6:10-18 The Message




This is one of my favorite songwriters and singers from the band NeedToBreathe. This is such a fantastic song "Stones Under Rushing Water". The years truly go by so quickly and we waste it by not dancing before the Lord, our creator. 

The Letter M

There are many words that begin with the letter M. Here are some words that define my life right now.

M is for May,  Moving, and Mess. 

May means countdown time...I move out of my apartment in 4 weeks. My apartment is a mess with boxes, clothes, and things all over the place. What I don't sell I am packing and what I don't pack I am giving away. 

If you know me really well you know that I  don't have a ton of "stuff" (except for clothes and shoes and I already got rid of those). I have moved too many times to have a lot of stuff. Each time I move I downsize and this time it is a major downsize. When I knew I needed to get rid of things I just prayed that the Lord would bring people to me. What I have isn't worth a lot but I knew I didn't need to just give it all away. Some of my furniture I just bought when I moved in to my apartment in July. The money I get from selling my stuff will go towards the move overseas and all the cost that goes with a continental move. 

My bedroom furniture, baskets, and side table went to my friend Debbie from school. She and her girls were excited to get the furniture. Laney has already bumped her head on the glass table. My sweet friend Lori Anne was really needing to get a car for her daughter. My friend Bobby and Christine are purchasing my couch, chair, and ottoman for a family member. My move is providing for others. God is so good!! 

M is also for Memories and Management of stress and emotions. 

I have been taking a lot of trips down memory lane.  I have so many fond memories of special people and places I've gone with those people. I even went on iTunes and bought my favorite music from the 90's. I have asked myself many times how I can take these people and places with me. How can I still be who I am and love those close to me so far away? So much of who I am is wrapped up in relationships. I try to leave a piece of myself with them and take a piece of them with me. My dear friend Amy encouraged me to let the relationships change with the circumstances. The book I am reading encourages me to mourn those changes and look froward with hope and anticipation.  I have been leaving sentimental items with friends and family and packing as many photo's as possible. 

When you move there is always stress but when you move to another continent there is a little more stress than usual. For weeks I woke up with headaches that never went away and felt this knot in my neck.  I was also unable to sleep because as soon as I lay down I my brain wouldn't shut down. I had to up my workout routine so I could manage. I'm not going to lie...I'm a little anxious about the unknown but so excited to take it on!

Through it all I have seen the Lords hand. His immeasurable kindness, faithfulness, and blessings are like a river washing over me. On my way to work a few weeks ago I started crying because I was overwhelmed with how good the Lord has been. After choir practice one evening I was talking to a friend and she commented on how I seemed different and my singing was different, in a good way. I told her that for the first time in 16 years I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be. There isn't something else out there I am missing or something else I was supposed to do. I was made to take this journey and all the destinations along the way.

Our pastor gave the illustration one Sunday of a little boy who was sitting on the floor beside his mother watching her cross stitch. As he watched her work all he saw was the mess of knots and ties underneath. He commented on how ugly and messy it was. She said, "Just be patient I am working on a beautiful picture. Just trust me and wait you will see".  I have often felt like that child. I have wandered, been confused, and even frustrated at times because I couldn't see the picture. I finally feel like I got a peek at the picture and can't wait to see the rest!! I finally understand what it means in Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I really know what trust means and not leaning on my own understanding. I get it...finally. 

For now I will continue to build my RAFT. The book I am reading uses RAFT as a way to handle a transition like I am going through in a healthy way.  

R- Reconciliation

Make sure you don't take relationship baggage with you to another continent.

A- Affirmation

Tell those you love just how much they mean to you. 

F- Farewells

Reminisce and say good bye and try to take sentiments with you.

T- Think Destination

Look at external and internal resources for coping

Blessings for today!

I'm a Weeper

I borrowed that line from Jude Law in "The Holiday". Lately I cry at the drop of a hat. A good show, a sad commercial, a students football video during Talent Share day, showing pictures of my niece to a complete stranger, and when anyone hangs up the phone with me. I knew it would be hard to leave but the tearful moments are coming at strange times. I know this is part of the process and I am really trying to get a grip on the tears.

We are blessed by the technology age. Global communication is much easier, faster, and accessible to the masses. In my preparations for Peru I find comfort that goodbye isn't goodbye forever. Skype is free, Vonage is affordable, and Facebook is...well, the same.

I have loved hearing about missionaries from the time I was a little girl in Mission Friends and GA's (all you Southern Baptist girls will feel me on this). Along with the Great Commission (which is enough on it's own) many quiet times, people, books, talks, and sermons have influenced my heart for missions.  Nothing has impacted me more than the letter I heard read from the pulpit one Sunday morning when the pastor was talking about missions. I will never forget the day that I heard a beautiful letter written to a father by his daughters betrothed.

"I have now to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure for a heathen land, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of a missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean; to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death. Can you consent to all this, for the sake of Him who left his heavenly home, and died for her and for you; for the sake of perishing immortal souls; for the sake of Zion, and the glory of God? Can you consent to all this, in hope of soon meeting your daughter in the world of glory, with a crown of righteousness, brightened by the acclamations of praise which shall redound to her Savior from heathens saved, through her means, from eternal woe and despair?"

This was a portion of the letter Adaniram Judson wrote Anne Hasseltine's father to ask for her hand in marriage. After hearing a little bit about their lives that Sunday I decided I needed to hear more. I bought two books on their ministry and lives. I highly recommend "My Heart in His Hands" the memoirs of Anne Judson. Anne and Adaniram Judson lead amazing selfless missional lives to the Glory of God. Imagine the tears her family shed as she prepared to go on the field. Some missionaries didn't survive the month long boat ride to where they were going to serve. All I have to do is take a 7 hr plane ride. When I think of what missions was like then and what it is now I wonder if any of us would have been willing. Even with the ease in communication and travel may we never take for granted what the call to serve means, laying down your life. May we all understand the call to spread the Gospel of Christ and the RADICAL life style that it requires no matter our location in the world.

"When we realize we have a responsibility to teach the Word, it changes everything  about how we hear the Word... God's word is being multiplied because the people of God are no longer listening as if his Word is intended to stop with them. They are now living as if God's Word is intended to spread through them." David Platt  RADICAL


Blessings

March Madness

My March madness has nothing to do with basketball. Every time someone brings up basketball or anything normal I feel so disconnected. My brain is divided between Peru, Pine Lake, and CCC (in no particular order) and I have trouble thinking about normal life. Shopping no longer holds enjoyment and I felt uncomfortable in a mall. There is also this intense need to spend time with people and talk to my family on the phone. Spanish tutoring with my good friend SariElaine starts tomorrow!

This is the busy season at school and things are getting ready to wind up for the race to the end. The Evening with the Arts and my Chorus concert are a week apart in April, after that it is all down hill at school. I am presenting to the CCC mission board the same week as the Art Show. I am praying for the Lord to guide that meeting and my relationship with the church here in Huntersville.

I have been tirelessly preparing paperwork and documents to get ready for my move to Peru. Paper work is not my strength. I am praying that I don't miss a step.

The paperwork that is most nerve racking is the renewal process for my NC Teaching License. My renewal cycle is up in June. I worked really hard on getting all of my papers in order (almost 9 years of certificates and documents from 3 institutions). I mailed it out this week and the state of NC says they won't review the document until after April 15. This late date gives me no time to correct any errors, should any come up, before I move in June. I pray every day not to stress out and worry about this. I trust the Lord but not the NC Dept. of Public Instruction. The Lords will be done!

I have created and sent out my first round of prayer support cards and packets. I was really proud of the way things turned out and am learning how to trust the Lord more completely with finances and provision.

I have spent countless hours researching my new home. I am sure that nothing can adequately paint a picture of what it is really like there.

Here is what I have read so far (some are a little crazy):

• Miraflores is the area of Lima where the school is located. It is one of the most modern areas in Lima. With most of the comforts of the states.
• I am not supposed to allow government officials to bribe me should they ask.
• Ceviche is something I might need to try before I get to Peru
• Peru is foggy and humid most of the year and only sunny in the summer months. The climate is generally mild. 
• The poverty level in Peru is not rising but there are many "Young Towns" (shanty towns) surrounding the city.
• There are several bilingual churches in the area. 
• My biggest expense will be housing
• An average lunch out is $2-$3 (this includes appetizers, entree, and drink)
• I have to pack things I need in suitcases and can't ship things
• I can only pack one wind instrument (per the Peruvian customs)
• I shouldn't wear earrings because my ears might get torn off during a mugging
• I should line my purse with chicken wire to "knife proof" it from muggers

As you can see I've been incredibly busy. Through all the madness I am still so excited about what God has for me in Peru. I have a renewed sense of purpose and focus.

I am holding tight to Psalm 112:7-8 "I will not fear bad news; my heart will be steadfast, trusting in the Lord. My heart is secure, I will have no fear; in the end I will look in triumph on my foes."

Blessings for today,