-I have moved back to the US to be close to family and am in Virginia
-I teach High School Chorus and Show Choir
-I am still a missionary on journey just in a really different capacity
The title of this post comes from a Gungor (Christian music artist) song called "Beautiful Things". Have a listen it is a great song.
There are several things which come to my mind when I listen to this song. Creation of man as stated in the Bible in the second chapter of Genesis.
7 Then the Lord God formed a man[c] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
We were created from the dust of the ground. From something dead, lifeless, and usually not desirable. God made something beautiful, intricate, and simply amazing out of dust and in His own image.
This song also is a reminder that regardless of how broken we are or how far away we feel from anything beautiful our Creator God can do anything to make us new.
This past year I have felt very far from beautiful or full of life. By that I mean anything beautiful. I am not just talking about physical beauty here I am taking about the beauty of the soul and circumstances. Let's just say it has been a tough year and a half of transitions and leave it at that.
Tonight I went through and read older blog posts and remembered some of the words from the Lord in the past. I was amazing to remember God's work and the work of the Holy Spirit. Even thought this year has been tough I know God's hand is still there guiding me it just feels like he is pulling me by the collar of my shirt not holding my hand.
I still carry around a lot of frustration from old hurts and hang-ups and no matter how many times I do Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" study I always find there is something else to "break free" from. I always find there is a little "dust" somewhere in the corner from some old hurt I haven't gotten rid of. I'm working on not doing this.
I got hurt once and it seemed to destroy something in me. You know the old saying, "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me". Well I am not the type of person to wait around for the second hurt. Momma didn't raise no fool. So, naturally I put up a wall around my heart. It was only put up to potential male suitors. No one can hurt what they don't have access to. You see the problem is that wall doesn't have a passage way, so it ends up blocking even those people like family and friends who once had access.
I believe my singleness is by God's design, reasons, and a season. My singleness is beautiful in many ways. God has used it and my life is so full regardless of my marriage status. However, I believe my wall has contributed to the length of my singleness. My loving Savior doesn't want me to stay like this. My wall has been there for so long I am not even aware of its' existence at times. It has been creeping up lately. I was made aware of this walls' continued existence by a lovely young lady who is like my little sister who shall remain nameless to protect her identity. She will however feel happy I included her in this blog (to the moon and back). She told me some things that she noticed about me that really upset me and it shocked me into awareness of this wall. I have been so closed off emotionally to everyone and everything. The thing about this wall is it is big and heavy and I don't really know how to get it down. I would love to have the Israelite's come march around, blow, horns, and shout but I am sure that won't happen.
I thought it was going to take some major construction. I was afraid there would never be someone who could get the wall down. It was just going to be there forever.
God didn't send the Israelite's or a construction crew. In His gentle way he sent a messenger who erased it away in one conversation. This person opened their mouth and God jumped out in a way I have not experienced. This person spoke to every hurt that put up that wall and the wall fell down so quickly I was in tears. Now there is nothing left of that wall but dust.
I am reminded that Jesus cares so much about you. He cares about tearing down walls so you can experience beautiful things. Some times God has to come along and breathe a fresh breath of life into His creation. I love that God gets creative with how he refreshes and restores us. I love that He uses his people.
Genesis 2:7
"Then the Lord God formed a man[c] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."
2 Corinthians 2:5
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things pass away; behold, new things have come."
BEHOLD; new, beautiful things have come.
Every Blessing,
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