I find myself repeating this line, "Does anybody hear what I'm sayin'?!" over and over in my head. This phrase might not mean anything to you if you just read it with a monotone, dry voice that we often read with. Try saying it out loud, in your most Southern accent, making sure to leave off the 'g' at the end. Also make sure that you try to say it as if no one is listening to what your saying and you are trying to make a point.
Go on...say it out loud.
That is how I hear it in my head, only Beth Moore is the voice I hear. Our small group has been doing a study on Romans using Beth Moore's audio teaching. She says that phrase a lot and it just sticks out to me. The inner Southern woman in me has the voice of Beth Moore, the stubborn fire of Madea, the sweetness of Southern Tea, and the free spirit of a salty ocean breeze carrying with it all the places it's been. Lately the inner Southern woman in me has been a little frustrated. I feel like Beth is yelling, Madea has her saw out asking me "Which half do you want?", the sweet tea is more like syrup, and the ocean breeze is like a Morton's salt shaker. My momma always said, "Too much of a good thing is just too much". I find that balance is a lifelong lesson. Sometimes I just want to say out loud DOES ANYBODY HEAR WHAT I'M SAYIN'!
We all need to be heard. It is important to know that our voice and experiences, whether bad or good, matter to someone. When you have a bad day everyone needs someone who will just listen and say, "I'm sorry you had a bad day". I find that most of the time with my little ones in school that their discipline problems come when they just don't feel like they are heard or seen. Many people look at little kids and miss them entirely. My goal has always been to let them know that, "I see them". I make eye contact, smile, and say I see you.
We all need to be heard. It is important to know that our voice and experiences, whether bad or good, matter to someone. When you have a bad day everyone needs someone who will just listen and say, "I'm sorry you had a bad day". I find that most of the time with my little ones in school that their discipline problems come when they just don't feel like they are heard or seen. Many people look at little kids and miss them entirely. My goal has always been to let them know that, "I see them". I make eye contact, smile, and say I see you.
Like most strong willed women it takes extreme circumstances to get my attention sometimes. The Lord never wastes an opportunity for a teachable moment. Right now it is BRACES.
At 18 I found out I had a baby tooth on a routine visit to the dentist. Their suggestion at that time was braces to pull the tooth into place. I immediately dismissed that idea thinking I was not going to go through braces my Freshman year of college. I asked the dentist how long I could last with the baby tooth. He said I could have it until I was in my 30's. In my mind that was an instant pass to do nothing about it at that time. I clearly remember thinking let's just take it out and stick in a Chicklet. The next thing you know I am 32 at a dentist in Peru and he says I have a ticking time bomb in my mouth and that I will have major problems if I don't do something soon. After more mouth ex-rays than I have ever taken, ever, and being presented with all the options I decided on braces to pull the tooth into place. I cried the whole way home from the orthodontist office. The inner Southern in me was saying, "Are you hearin' what I'm sayin'?" My first carnal/fleshly thought was, "Lord, I am already 32 and single and you want me to put on braces?! Let's just join a nunnery and secure eternal sigleness". Thought number 2, "Oh my goodness did he say $4000?!?!?!". My final thought was, "I guess maybe I should have done this when I was 18". After a long walk home, a bunch of tears, and me trying not to cry out loud as I passed by my Peruvian neighbors in the street, I finally settled down and accepted reality.
Thursday April 19, 2012...a day that will go down in infamy. I went into the orthodontist and came out with rocks on my teeth that have to be there for 2 years. For whatever reason I am really sensitive to pain in my mouth. Some people might say I am a wuss but my mom will just tell you that I am stubborn. I also hear adults just have more pain associated with braces. Right now I can't brush my teeth, talk, eat, or even close my mouth without pain. These braces are instruments to pull things back into shape and into place. I have felt a whole new connection to all my students who have braces. They have been most helpful, encouraging, and supportive. There is comfort in people who are going through the same thing as you. They just happen to be almost 2 decades younger than I am, smile. I dislike braces probably more than anything. Right before I got my braces I asked my middle school choir what their thoughts were. One quiet, but poignant, student said, "It ruins everything". I knew I was doomed when the person who never talks chose those words to say when he had the opportunity to speak in class for the first time. As I sat in the orthodontist chair last week and cried due to the pain, I reminded myself that I was paying for this service. Today when the doctor said, "Now... this is going to feel like I am pulling all of your teeth out" I reminded myself that I willing walked there and sat in that chair. Apparently there is a lot of "shaping" up I have to do.
So I find myself again at the original question. Is anybody hearing what I'm sayin'? My answer from the Lord, "Yes, I see you...I hear you". It doesn't mean he is going to take it away it just means that I need to keep sitting in the chair and letting Him put things where he wants them to be...no matter how much it hurts.
Right now this is my favorite song..."King of All Days"-Hillsong
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